Monday, April 1, 2013

On Cloud Nine…Yeah Not So Much..Airport's Suck!

OK people out in blogger land…here is the deal…I have to say that life is stressful enough but when you add travel on top of it …life pretty much BLOWS!  So first off let me just rant about how  getting up (at the butt crack of dawn) sets the day off in suck mode to begin with and then add on top of that a very upset toddler (she has to stay home with her time challenged dad who is doomed to make her look like some deranged version of Pippy Longstocking by the time she finally makes it to school…she knows this is her fate… hence the melt down!), getting in to your husband’s truck only to find that it is yet AGAIN on FUMES, and then add the (of course because this is my luck today) the traffic from hell, I just want to turn right back around and go right the F* back home!  So when I finally make it to the airport I have totally forgotten that it is the day after Easter and everyone and their mother (literally…it’s Easter) is traveling back to where they clearly hatched from so the lines are extremely long and painful…again…just want to tell my manager that I have food poisoning and had to… oh I don’t know…go to the ER to get treated for a sucking chest wound or do something clearly less painful because anything is better than this disaster area at this point!  Any hoo…my only saving grace with all of the commotion was that I got to people watch and observe how other people handle the great and pleasurable air port TSA line!  It was pretty entertaining…first off let me tell you that children and parents (no matter what the age) should NEVER travel together EVER!  I witnessed more yelling, screaming, and crying (those were the parents BTW) than when we took our family to Disneyland!  Oh…you all in blogger land are like “Disney is the happiest place on earth..” I beg to differ…I witnessed more parents threatening all sorts of bodily harm to their offspring during that  "wish upon a star" vacation and don’t get me even started on the crying!  Holy Crap!  I saw more children upset there than when I had to take my daughter to get her Swine Flu Virus vaccine at the local pediatricians office!  Sorry Disney if you are reading this, but you  might want to find another Mission Statement…thinking that you might want to join forces with the Air Lines and come up with a better one because clearly both of you need to come up with a better way to make us happy because let's face it...we are miserable here people!  OK enough about crying parents…I also have to add that when people give you advice to dress comfortably when you travel you should really ask them for some clear guidelines because let me tell you that rule can be interpreted in many grotesque ways!  First of all…I am clearly NOT a fan of wearing your PJ’s out in public but let me tell you how many people I saw not only wearing their pajama’s but also carrying around their pillows like this was some massive sadistic slumber party!  I have to tell you that if this was my slumber party my  mother would have been screeching for everyone to get the F* OUT!  It would be so loud that everyone would flee the building like it was on fire…oh BTW  I would be leading that pack…have been a witness/target to the banshee screaming and it is so NOT pretty!  Fleeing is the best option  here!  Also…what is the deal with people wearing yoga/skin tight spandex pants and (again a rant about spandex here) tight fitting sports tops? From the looks of the rolls that were erupting from the seams those babies have clearly not seen the gym or a yoga class in ages so why try to act the part?! I fail to believe that being crammed into a tube like a sausage is considered comfortable!?  My poor eyes are in shock from what they were forced to endure…and last but not least, why oh why do people think that it is OK to wear clothing that is clearly not age appropriate?  Like I don’t know…. why can’t  people (both young and old) refrain from donning daisy dukes and crop tops at the airport?!  True statement people…witnessed it this morning!  Again…I am having a hard time understanding how any of these outfits scream COMFORT?!  I just don’t get it…maybe I am getting old and this is normal?!  I am hoping not…I am hoping that it is everyone else and not me…those are famous last words from someone that is clearly in denial…like me!  Sheesh!  I am hoping the flight back will be better…it’s has to get better right?  Again famous last words…

What am I listening to while I rant from thousands of feet up in the air:  Airplanes, by B.o.B (featuring Hayley Williams of Paramore)

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