Monday, April 22, 2013

Jurassic Park Called…They Want Their Dinosaur Back!

OK people in the blogosphere…so here’s the deal…there are times in your life when you feel like you could not feel any OLDER…well the other night I felt like a relic straight out of the Smithsonian! Move over million year old Woolly Mammoth you’ve got some competition…and embarrassingly enough that would be ME!  Sheesh!  So let me tell you all in the blogosphere what happened… remember when I was ranting about being on business travel?  Yeah…well that trip kept on getting crappier and crappier by the sleep deprived second and by the time the second night rolled around I was more than ready to tell my manager that I was allergic to travel and that there wasn’t enough Benadryl to get rid of that affliction! Travel sucks!  Any hoo… back to my blog-o-rant…so we all decided to go out to dinner that night and wanted to sit in the bar area of the restaurant because it was not packed and of course, it had the most TV’s that were tuned to various types of sporting events (even on travel I can’t get away from freakin’ ESPN…my husband would be so proud!)   So when we finally sit down, a young little blond bartender comes to take our drink order and of course, she starts at the other end of the table, and as she makes her way down the table she is checking ID’s as she goes.  She finally gets to me, and I am asking her some questions about the local micro brews on the drink menu, so when I finally decide, and I am more than ready to hand her my ID, she does the unthinkable….SHE WALKS AWAY WITHOUT ASKING FOR IT!!!!!!!  Holy Shit!  I am mortified!  I felt the need to run her down in my motorized scooter, and shove my ID in her face just to show her that I am not as OLD as the Ancient Greek Mythological Beast that she assumed I was and that she needs to CARD ME to verify!  WTF…could I possibly feel any older?! Watching her perkily walk away from me, I was so far into the old ass slumps that I felt the need to grab the alcoholic beverage out of the gentlemen’s hand that is sitting at the booth next to me and glug it down like I am lost in the Mohave Desert and his drink is the only liquid around!   So depressing!! Soooooo feeling the need to vindicate this horrific wrong, that I also wanted to ask the gentleman at the bar (that was manning that annoying Trivia game…that I always lose at because apparently I am senile too!) to post my ID on the big screen and…oh I don’t know…add some really annoying blinking flashing lights around it so that our bartender realizes that she FORGOT to ask for mine! Geeze! This SUCKS! The kicker of it all was that the whole table was witness to my whole sad Senior Citizen moment and I, feeling the need for justice to right this horrific senior moment that has gone SO WRONG, just turned to them with a shocked look on my face and exclaimed “WTF?  That did NOT just happen right?”  They all looked at me and then…yeah…started laughing their asses off!  Which told me, why yes…you were basically told WITHOUT SAYING ANYTHING that you should scooter on back to the rest home that you clearly escaped from and get your BINGO on!  Seriously want to re-think the whole” Botox or not to Botox” decision or put a bag on my head and hope that it becomes a trend and nobody notices the crazy old “bag” lady running people down with her golf cart!  If this depressing moment has ever happened to any of you in the blogosphere please comment and let me know…I have already glued pig tails to my paper bag and am about ready to apply the lipstick here before I don it on my old ass head! Sheesh …this getting old SUCKS!    

What am I listening to as I rant this bloggary:  22, by Taylor Swift.



  1. Haha! You are funny! I totally get it, the guy that owns the pizza place in my neighborhood started calling me ma'am. Yeah, I don't go there anymore...

    1. I totally understand how you feel...being called ma'am is another one of my pet peeves and I totally wouldn't go there either! I was joking with my friends and telling them that the next time that she came over I was going to put the ID card on my forehead so that she would "catch a clue"...but then I thought that maybe once she looked at it and she saw my birthdate she might actually pass out from shock! The whole experience was horrifying and just WRONG...I seriously do not know how/when I became an old geezer but now I guess I need to start going to "Geezers Anonymous" to start taking the first step...admitting that I am an old fart and that is just going to SUCK! ;)

  2. I stopped by to let you know I nominated you for a Liebster award, if you would like to accept it. you can read about it on my page. Have a great weekend!

    Life with RA is a Pain

    I love your posts!

  3. Hey Thanks for the nomination! I will wander over to your site and see what it's all about! I am SO GLAD that you like my random verbal nonsense...I will try to continue to keep you entertained by all of the weird crap that happens to me on a daily basis! Thanks again for the nomination...I really appreciate it! :)