Sunday, June 30, 2013

I Need to Invest In Nair…This Is So Not Right on SO Many Levels!


OK fellow bloggers…last week I was casually surfing on the Internet for funny hair styles in the 80’s for my Fashion Flashback Friday post and as I was cruising around the web I came across some really  disturbing hair pictures that I thought that I would share with you all!  WARNING: Bloggers be prepared…this visual is a little bit well…NOT RIGHT!  OK…did you all grab your barf bags?  If so…here we go:
 
                                                                                     

OK…so WHAT.THE.F are those nasty things?  Well why yes…they are hairy stockings that were developed to deter nasty leering men and perverts from checking out your stems!  YIKES! I know that my eyes have had the LIFE deterred out of them by stumbling upon this article…of all places…on CNN!  I have no idea what to do with this picture or this invention!  Thinking that Nair might need to take their marketing campaign up a notch if these babies become popular…in that they might need to offer their product for FREE to assist in the removal of these nasty suckers!  What the HELL is going on with these legs?  I have to tell ya…this invention is just well…kinda gross...and as I was trying to hold down the vomit that was threatening to spew out of my mouth, I closed my eyes and blindly moved my mouse in a sad attempt to find something that was NOT so disturbing…what I did find was not quite as gross but is still WRONG on so many levels!  So what did I find you all are wondering?  I know that you all are DYING to know right?  Well…I found images that were all about…wait for it…wait for it…hairy chest and back art!   YIKES!  I am sure that all of you are wondering what the HELL hairy chest and back art is…well here is a NASTY example:
 


 Well fellow bloggers apparently we are missing out on a TRUE Van Goughesque form of art here that some men find to be totally appropriate for apparently Valentine’s day!  Nothing tells your lady that you LOVE them more than shaving a heart out of your nasty furry BACK HAIR!  SO GROSS!  Tempted to send this pic to Schick and let them know that they are missing out on an opportunity for a WINNER Valentine’s day promotion here…they could attach a Free disposable razor to a Valentine’s Day Card with step by step instructions on how to create this look for their lady as a sure fire way to get some action!  Yeah…that action might involve a lot of running AWAY to escape the hairy beast that is attempting to woo your ass by shaving a heart on his nasty furry BACK but then with a back this hairy action is action right?!  OMG…GAGGING here!  I had NO idea that this art form existed…let alone that it is apparently pretty popular at NASCAR as witnessed below:

 

Hmmm….wondering if Dale Ernhardt Jr. knows that his male fans are doing this art as a tribute to his fabulous driving skills?  I know that this picture is driving me to DRINK heavily as a sad attempt to try to forget these visuals!  Sheesh! 

As I was paging through this nasty phenomenon I did come across one that was pretty funny as witnessed below:

 

Wondering if Victoria’s Secret knows that they have competition with this guy?  Thinking that the Angel’s need to bring their A game push up bra to compete with this dude…he has one serious hairkini going on here and from the look on his face he is DAMN proud of his hairy cleavage too!  Funny but so WRONG!  So fellow bloggers…is it just me that is traumatized here or are you all also in gagfest mode over these pics?  If not…you could stalk this guy below and make him your hairy chest muse…I am thinking that a  Unicorn would be PERFECT for this hairy beast!  YIKES…that dude is just down right hairy and WRONG!  Sheesh! This is SO NOT RIGHT...vomiting now...UGH! 

 

What am I listening to as I pen this bloggary:  I Am Not My Hair, by India.Arie.

 

 

Thursday, June 27, 2013

Fashion Flashback Friday-80’s Heavy Metal Wrinkled Rock Stars!


OK fellow bloggers…this week I was going to do a short little bloggary on the most hideous hair styles of the 80’s but when I was doing a little bit of Googlin’ I came across these hideous pictures of 80’s Heavy Metal Rockers Then and Now!  These pictures are really funny…so be prepared to be entertained!  Here you go blogosphere…the top 5 Heavy Metal Rock Stars that…quite frankly…need to figure out that they are well…old and NASTY! *Sigh*

Poison-Holy Crap!  Every Rose does have a thorn…apparently these boys fell down a whole rose thorn JUNGLE to get to where they look today!!!  Oh...and someone needs to tell Brett Michaels to ditch the whole head band thing...again SO TOTALLY 80's...YIKES!!!!!
 
 

Alice Cooper-He was scary in the 80’s but he is just downright GHASTLY now!  Somebody really needs to show him how eyeliner works and be a “friend” and let him know that teasing his hair in the 80’s might have been OK but NOW not so much…I’m just sayin’….
 
 

Eddie Van Halen-OK…I am kind of at a loss for words here…he kind of looks like that token crazy guy that hangs out at the local liquor store that just creeps every one out!  WHAT THE HELL happened to that guy?  YIKES…this is just wrong! 
 

Gene Simmons-This is just a lesson to all of us that want to try out Botox and play in the plastic surgeons sand box…apparently over time and excessive treatments your face starts to look like this!  I am wondering if his face is stuck in this “I just sucked a Lemon” look…if so…that just has to SUCK!  HAHAHA!
 

Sebastian Bach-I'm thinking that when he sang that song 18 and Life he was foreshadowing his future…he kind of looks like prison did a number on him don’t you think?  Oh Sebastian…I want to Remember You the way that you were because you are kind of scaring me now…YIKES!  He used to be SO HOT… what the HELL happened to him?  So very SAD!

 

 

Bonus Pick:  Rick Springfield-OK…again this is a mug shot of Rick Springfield but WTF?  Seriously…what did he do to land himself in the pokey?  Apparently being a Soap Opera/Rock Star does not pay well…it apparently does NOT pay enough to NOT land you in a prison cell next to Martha Stewart!  YIKES this is BLEAK and again...just so very SAD!

 

 

Well there you go fellow bloggers…the top five 80’s Heavy Metal Rockers that have gone down the proverbial age toilet!  Yikes…someone seriously needs to consult them on how facials and wrinkle creams work…these dudes totally NEED to catch a clue here!  YIKES!  This is just very depressing and just OH SO WRONG! 
 

What am I listening to as I pen this bloggary:  Veronica, by Elvis Costello.

 

 

 

 

Monday, June 24, 2013

Twisted Mix Tape Tuesday-70’s Summer Lovin’


OK people out in the blogosphere…this week’s Twisted Mix Tape Tuesday @ www.jenkehl.com  is again the 70’s and I was going to do a montage to Disco Duck but then (luckily for all of you) I started thinking about all of the songs that I used to listen to with my siblings and I decided that I would share some of those songs with you instead! You all can thank me later for not torturing you with Disco Duck!  HAHAHAHA! Sooo….let me give you a little bit of back story here…don’t fall asleep…it’s not like I am going to torture you with a photo slide view  show or anything that boring...so stay with me here…I promise you that it will be short and relatively painless!  So I am the youngest of three children in our family with the age difference of my brother being eleven years older than I am…so let’s just say that when you are a high school boy in the 70’s and your sister is like four…that is some serious dating candy right there!  He used to drag me along with him everywhere because all of his girlfriend’s thought that I was adorable therefore my brother was so sweet to bring me along!  Sheesh…those girls were such SUCKERS!  Any hoo…I spent a lot of time with him and the following songs remind me of spending a 70’s summer with him cruising around in his re-modeled Ford Model T Truck, with a custom welded chain link steering wheel!  What a visual huh?  So here you go blogosphere…the top five 70’s summer songs…well according to my brother!  Happy Listening!


Deep Purple-Smoke on the Water

                                        http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zUwEIt9ez7M

America-Sister Golden Hair

                                            http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b93gZMHAFR0

Gordon Lightfoot-SunDown

                                       http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jbMEb1T8CN0


Foreigner-Hot Blooded

                                         http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5c1m2BAg2Sc


Aerosmith-Dream On


Bonus Pick: I had to add this song...I grew up on a farm and this song ALWAYS reminds me of horseback riding and the smell of wild grass blowing in the wind on a hot summer day!

Michael Martin Murphey-Wildfire

                                        http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pc3OnSQc48s



OK…fellow bloggers...so there you have it!  I am still humming Sister Golden Hair as I finish out this amazing Mix Tape Tuesday dedication…I hope that you are too...Oh and I TOTALLY want to get me a horse and name it Wildfire too!  I love these songs...I hope that they bring back some memories for all of you too! 

What am I listening to as I pen this bloggary: Space Cowboy, by Steve Miller Band


Sunday, June 23, 2013

I Am Fantasizing About Ding Dong’s…and I Am Not Talking About Boy Bits Either…


So here’s the deal fellow bloggers…there are some things that you should NEVER do…and doing anything when you are HUNGRY is one of them.  Let me tell you how all of this craziness started…so about two years ago a friend of mine talked me into training for the Susan G. Komen half marathon…I have no idea what I was ON when she asked me because I said yes and I wasn’t even under duress!  Someone must have slipped me some type of hallucinogenic shroom in my salad that day because I would have NEVER agreed to running 13 miles…in one day…and not think that I would SURVIVE unless I was highly medicated or smoking some cheap  low grade CRACK (Prince Valium doesn’t count here people…he is just my longtime boyfriend and we have an arrangement!  HAHAHAHAHA!) Any hoo…we started training and I have been running ever since…now don’t start thinking that I can actually run…what I do really does not equate to running…it is more like that walk that you get when you have to pee really bad at the mall and the bathroom is like down two very long escalator trips and then you have to cross perfume land and pray that you don’t sneeze and pee your pants before you get to the bathroom that is in some hidden corner destination that some architect decided was the IDEAL place to put a bathroom!  WHAT AN  IDIOT!  Take that visual and then imagine me running at that pace for like 13 miles…again…I wouldn’t call that awkward vision running right?  Any hoo…let’s fast forward to today…even though the run has come and gone…ah yeah you all are probably wondering if I ran the dang thing right?  Well…ummm…you see my friend went out on business travel and when she did…well…OK…SO I TOTALLY DIDN’T DO IT OK!  Did I tell you all that I kind of can’t do anything alone?  Yeah…I am THAT girl who has to drag her friends to the bathroom at Applebee’s because I am afraid of peeing alone…don’t judge…I was traumatized by my Korean mother who was always UP MY CRACK  so when I am alone I don’t know what to do with myself…thinking that I should keep my mother on speed dial for these awkward social moments…oh wait…she CAN’T HEAR an F’ing thing so there goes her spot as my random ”I can’t pee alone sponsor”  she is going to be so upset when I tell her this fact…that is if she can UNDERSTAND what the F* I am saying!  That woman is so frustrating…sheesh!  Any hoo….so back to the topic at hand here… even though the run has come and gone...my treadmill and I still make a date to watch Brad Pitt or Vin Diesel while we run together and drool over six pack abs and tight booty’s!  I am kind of used to this routine and I do it 5 times a week like clockwork…it’s really not that impressive people…I just really like to watch six pack abs and tight booty’s in the confines of my workout room where my husband and daughter know to NEVER enter because I am usually in so much torturous pain from running that it kind of sounds like I am being mauled by a bunch of fat craving zombies!  Yeah…good times!   Any hoo…so this morning I was on my trusty treadmill and I was watching the Lord of the Ring’s…I know…that movie is like a Nerdfest…but Viggo Mortensen makes a hot Ranger in that second movie and for whatever reason watching him run around fighting nasty Orcs makes my run go smoother.  I’m an engineer remember…nerd is my middle name!  HA!  So I am watching that scene where the Ent’s are going to war and I am like HUNGRY…so hungry that I am having a hard time concentrating…but then I hear Tree Beard tell Merry that “…the Ent’s are going to war…” and it was like my hungry mind snapped!  All of a sudden I pictured him as an Entenmann’s raspberry Danish and that the hobbits were little yellow marshmallow Peep’s that were casually lounging on his Danish shoulders as they threw fat frosted donut holes at the nasty black licorice Orc’s!  WHAT.THE.F*!  As the scene moves forward and you see Sauron’s tower I envisioned it to be a Twinkie Tower with a chocolate milk waterfall careening towards it so that the Entenmann trees could casually take a soak and get ready to be eaten by my hungry ass!  Holy Crap!  I HAVE LOST MY FREAKIN’ MIND!  I actually had to stop my run I was laughing so hard at my carb loaded fantasy…it was at that point that I realized…I should NEVER run while I am hungry!  That shit is dangerous not only to me but to my TV that almost had me physically licking it like it was Hugh Jackman wearing  a Raspberry Danish shirt! Someone needs to tell Lady GaGa that she seriously needs to take her meat dress up a notch if she is going to compete against me! HAHAHAHAHA!  OMG…I clearly need therapy!  WTF is wrong with me?  Well…this is just one of many things…but seriously this has to take the cake…no pun intended!  HAHAHAHAHAAA!  Anyway….people out in the blogosphere the moral of this bloated bloggary is that you should NEVER exercise while you are hungry unless you are ready to fantasize about Ding Dong’s and Twinkies…I’m talking about pastry here people not man parts! HAHAHAHAHAAAAA!  I seriously need therapy or a sandwich…sheesh…I’m starting to scare myself! HA!


What am I listening to as I pen this bloggary:  I Want Candy, by Bow Wow Wow

Thursday, June 20, 2013

Flashback Friday-Teen Angst Movies of the 80’s


OK bloggers…to go along with my Facebook stalking theme I decided to dedicate this week’s Flashback Friday to movies that involved teenage crushes! Oh and I have to tell you that some of the celebrities in these movies were HOT and I have to confess that I don’t know if I still don’t secretly want to have a crush over some of them now... SO YUMMY!  OK…so let’s just get this started shall we? Here we go…the top 5 Teenage Crush Movies:

16 Candles-I cannot lie…this is my favorite movie of ALL time!  John Hughes was a genius…I love those neo-maxi-zoomed-dweebs!  Oh and Jake Ryan…wheesh…that boy is HOT!  Holy Crap!
 

Heathers-Can I get a WOOT WOOT for Christian Slater?  OMG that boy was panty melting gorgeous!  I have to tell ya that this movie was very dark but you all have to admit that it was funny…I know that I was thanking my Korean mother for not naming me Heather after this movie! Hmmm…re-thinking that last thought…if I WERE named Heather then I could have had a very yummy Christian Slater as my love interest!  Crap…dang Korean mother!  HAHAHAHAAAA!
 

Uncle Buck-This movie is just classic!  I love the HUGE pancake scene in this movie!  Look at at the size of that sucker...my pancakes NEVER turn out that round EVER!  HAHAHHAHAHAHHA!
 

Footloose-Who did NOT want to dance with Kevin Bacon?  Holy crap that scene in the warehouse where he is all sweaty in his wife beater still makes me swoon!  That is A LOT of hot mess teen angst going on there but he's sooooo DELICIOUS!
 
 

The Breakfast Club-So…I know that I have a lot of John Hughes movies  on this list but COME ON...in the 80’s these movies were the SHIZZ!  I have to admit that I had a little bit of a flannel obsession going on with Judd Nelson and his brooding bad boy ways and Emilio Estevez wasn't too hard on the ol' teenage eyes either!   
 

 

BONUS PICK:  Flashdance-I totally know that this was NOT a teenage flick but hey…this movie had a lot of obsessive love going on here. Oh and I have to say that  her fashion sense gave people (like me) a reason to wear leg warmers and sweatshirts with the collar ripped out…in PUBLIC!  Yeah...that is kind of embarrassing...  *sigh*
 

 

So there you go people in the blogosphere…the top 5 teen angst movies of the 80’s!  Now go ahead and get some popcorn and let the angstfest begin!  I know that I am one shovel full away from streaming Heathers in HD AND in THX quality surround sound so that I can get up close and personal with Christian Slater! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!

 

What am I listening to as I pen this bloggary:  CrushCrushCrush, by Paramore

 

 

Monday, June 17, 2013

Twisted Mix Tape Tuesday-Rollin’ In the 70’s


This week’s Twisted Mix Tape Tuesday theme is the glorious 70’s!  So how better to celebrate this glorious era than to…why yes…create a mix tape based on the top 5 songs that were played at the roller disco rink!  Thanks again to Jen Kehl at www.jenkehl.com for hosting this magnificent blog hop!  So everyone put their skates on and let’s get this party rollin’! 

YMCA-Village People-This song makes me want to throw on my roller sneakers and get my skate on!  Oh…BTW…this song is very popular at weddings and Christmas Parties worldwide!
 

                       http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CS9OO0S5w2k&list=RD25tDF71LjRB34

You Should Be Dancing-The Bee Gees-This song is the ultimate roller disco song right here!  Let’s not forget that this is also the BEST John Travolta dance scene EVER!  Oh and those Bee Gee brothers are kinda hot too…just sayin’!
 

                                          http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_JoZS6LgqYI

Heart of Glass-Blondie-What girl did not want to be Blondie?  I know that I STILL want to be her…oh and I totally think that she was the muse for the whole smoky eye trend don’t you?
 

                                           http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jxpe1oSp_sg

Donna Summer-Last Dance-OK…so I can’t lie…I totally remember roller skating to this song with my flared out Ditto jeans flapping in the roller skating wind! 
 

                                         http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A8xv1MXrwNc

Chic-Le Freak-Yeah…so I am a FREAK for this song!  Enough said…
 

                                         http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h1qQ1SKNlgY

 

 

So there you go blogosphere!  The top 5 roller disco songs…now all of you go grab your skates, dust off that disco ball, and get your roller disco on!  I know that I had mine on at Donna Summer...that is the JAM right there!
 
 
What am I listening to as I pen this bloggary:  Boogie Oogie Oogie, by Taste of Honey.

Sunday, June 16, 2013

I Did A Little Facebook Stalking and I Am Not Ashamed!


Well, my blogger friends, I am just going to put it out there… why yes…I did the dirty deed…I did a little bit of Facebook stalking and I’m not ashamed!  So here’s what prompted my Facebook stalkerazzi…a couple of weeks ago I wandered upon Jen Kehl’s Mixed Tape Tuesday blog hop (which is fabulous by the way…you all should participate it is SO awesome! www.jenkehl.com) and the theme was to create a breakup mix tape full of songs that tells your ex or super crush that you basically want them back…like BAD (OK let’s not get all Glenn Close bunny in a pot BAD here…we just want them to notice that we exist! Sheesh!) Well….so I had to put some Journey on the list and that is where it kind of spiraled out of control.  OK…I am just going to go there…if you were a girl in the 80’s, and you had a crush on say…the high school quarterback…you listen to A LOT of Journey.  That was just the rule and rules should be followed people!  So as I created my list, I started to think about the worst crush EVER and then that was where I found myself unashamedly doing a little Facebook stalking and I have to admit…it was very interesting…VERY SCARY but totally worth the stalking!  So here’s what I learned…apparently there was a high school reunion that I totally missed!  WHAT.THE.HELL? So when I find this out, I immediately call my parental units and start the Korean Inquisition on my mother who, was like…”who this?” Ah yeah…she still can’t hear…so I can totally tell you all that my evil plan on verbally torturing her were totally flushed down the shitter when she repeats over and over again  “what you say?” at the top of her lungs in her crazy broken English!  Yeah…good times!  So when I finally yell so loud that the astronauts on the space station were tweeting me telling me to shut the F* up, my dad finally intervenes and takes the ear torture device away from the crazy Korean who can’t hear a F’ing thing!  SO FRUSTRATING!  Any hoo…I finally get around to asking my dad about the reunion and he was like “Oh, yeah…did we forget to send you that?”  I would have totally lost my mind at this point, but because he takes so long to say anything, I had already fallen asleep and was dreaming about all of the hotties from that movie Magic Mike when he rudely interrupted my hot dream by DROPPING HIS PHONE on the floor!   Yeah…I am deaf in one ear now…oddly enough this news makes my mother happy! HA!  Just kidding! So any hoo…now that I know that my parents really do have Alzheimer’s because they seriously cannot remember my address to forward anything that lands in their mailbox with MY NAME on it as well as I have a bum ear now from calling their assess I figured that I had suffered enough verbal torturing to last a lifetime and hand the phone to my daughter who…well…she does what any four year old does…she hangs up on them! OOPS!  Don’t judge…you have no idea how crazy my gene pool is…and I called them back and left them a voice mail message apologizing…yeah I totally knew that they still thought that they were talking to my daughter when the PHONE WAS DEAD but hey…I still apologized right? Isn’t that what counts? Miss Manners would be so proud of my behavior here…NOT!  Sooooooo, anyway after I threw back a bottle of Tequila, I get on trusty Facebook and start looking at all of the reunion pics and I was like NO WAY!  Holy crap!  Some of them, I was like yeah…I  recognize them, but then some I was like THAT is what’s his face?  WHAT THE HELL happened to that guy?  I was horrified to find that some of the HOTTEST guys in my high school were now yeah…not so much.  Some of them, I would not recognize if they passed me on the street…it was horrifying!  As I paged through picture after picture, I found myself scared to scroll to the next pic as I had no clue what my old ass eyes were going to find!  I finally land on the money shot…I find THE dude that made me spend every single night of my high school life miserably singing my heart out to Journey as I ate my weight in Dorito’s!  UGH that visual is BLEAK!  But what I see makes me oddly…happy?!  He is no longer the blond, blue eyed, tall muscled quarter back that I remembered him to be…he is now a pudgy old guy with a mini comb over going on! What.THE.F?!   This is going to make me sound like a total Bitch, but I was actually doing a little chair dance at what I was seeing!  I could not believe that this was the dude that made me sing to Journey and wander around with that love lost puppy look on my face 24X7 only to realize that he DID NOT KNOW THAT I EXISTED! WHAT.AN.AHOLE! If that dude came up to me now, I would pepper spray his ass and then run like I was being chased by the Crypt Keeper!  YIKES!  I kept looking at the pictures thinking that maybe they had him confused with someone else but as I kept going through those high school re-union “mug shots” I realized that he was with his old crew and they were nasty too!  WOO HOO!  I am actually  dancing around now, fists pumping in the air, with a big ass grin on my face like I just won a UFC fight against Pacquiao ( I clearly know way TOO much about sports…I need to cut the cable that is ONLY associated with sports channels! Sheesh!)   I know now without a doubt that it’s him…and he is full on GROSS now!  I found myself oddly relieved, that I had dodged that bullet, and loving the fact that not only is he ghastly but the multitude of girls that he dated were hideous too! I wanted to comment and tell those ladies that Botox is really cheap now and that p90x can be borrowed from the library…for FREE…so they have NO EXCUSE to look so nasty!  Sheesh!  I guess the moral of this verbally bloated bloggary is that everything happens for a reason…if any of you out in the blogosphere need to explain to your teenager why crush’s hurt so much let them know that there is sunlight at the end of the depressing black crush tunnel! Tell them that he or she might be hot now, but later on in life not so much…they will be thanking that d’bag later on in life, once they see the size of the disgusting bullet that they have dodged! The pictures on Facebook do NOT lie people…you should stalk and show them some examples…it is really very educational but prepare yourself...so F'in SCARY!  YIKES!  I can safely say that I am thanking the “Teenage Crush God’s for allowing that beast to ignore my ass...that dude is downright scary now!  YIKES!

 

What am I listening to as I pen this bloggary:  Teenage Dream, by Katy Perry.

Thursday, June 13, 2013

Fashion Flashback Friday-80’s Vixen’s Then and Now


So this week, on Fashion Flashback Friday, I decided to give all of us  80's survivors a little bit of a present just to make us feel better about ourselves...because... I have to tell ya...surviving the 80's is seriously a fashion miracle people! I still have nightmares about being chased by yards of neon green lace and Aqua Net! Yikes that era was so SCARY!  So to honor our "surviving unscathed" accomplishment, I decided to dedicate this week's post to showing us  how some of the hottest 80’s vixens did not age well…not well at all!  So here you go fellow survivors, the top 5 celebrity Vixen's from the 80's...this post should make you feel so GOOD about yourself…I know that I am feeling fabulous after looking at these sad ladies! 
 

Kelly LeBrock-OMG!  She should have used some of that Geek  technology in Weird Science to keep herself looking hot and toned!  Someone should tell her that they make dresses in all sizes…maybe then her girls might not be a breath away from busting loose and knocking an innocent bystander out!  Sheesh!


Tawny Kitaen-Yikes!  Looks like she got ran over by the car that she was crawling over in that White Snake Video!  Now in her defense...this is a mug shot photo...but then IT'S A MUG SHOT PHOTO people!!!!  Holy Crap!  Do you think that she went in the pokey because she stole the car that she was lounging on? If so, then that would explain the hideous mug shot that is shamelessly hanging out on the Internet right next to Nick Nolte!  Sheesh!



Brigitte Nielsen-Well Hello Flavor Flav!  I have NO idea how one goes from Sly Stallone to Flavor Flav but apparently Brigitte has done it!  I wonder if she wears her teeth bling to bed…hmmm…if not that could be a whole lot of scary  bling’d out mess in a cup!  YIKES! 


Sinead O’Connor-Wow…that song Nothing Compares to You was no lie…nothing compares to what you used to look like and what is happening now…there is a lot of Blue going on here…I’m just sayin’…



 
Janice Dickinson-There is just a whole lot of plastic, Botox, and surgery going on here…must suck to not to be able to show your emotions…oh wait…she can do that with that foul mouth of hers!  UGH!  Is it just me or does she kind of resemble Grandpa from the Munsters? I think that the resemblance is uncanny don't you?

 

Bonus Pick-Kathleen Turner-Geeze!  I don’t even know what to say here…hmmmmm…maybe having to brave the elements in Romancing the Stone did a number on this chick?  I have no idea what happened here but I have to say…this is just BLEAK but I know that I feel so much better about myself after looking at this pic!  Sheesh!


So there you go ladies…I am hoping that this bloggary helped a lot of you out in regards to how you feel about your wrinkles and body image in general!  If these ladies can let it all hang out then we are in really good shape here…we are on FIRE we are so HOT! Oh…BTW…someone should be a “friend” and tell some of  these ladies that mug shots on the Internet are not good for their public image…just ask LiLo she will tell you in great detail how that is NOT working out for her!  YIKES! These pics are just SCARY! 

 

What am I listening to as I pen this bloggary:  Girls On Film, by Duran Duran








Monday, June 10, 2013

Twisted Mix Tape Tuesday-Whiskey A Go Go!




Yet again I am STOKED to be blog hopping with Jen @ http://jenkehl.com/music/twisted-mix-tape-tuesday-11/ with yet another 60’s inspired mix tape Tuesday!  I decided that I was going to dedicate this week’s blog hop to why yes…the band’s that performed at the L.A. Whiskey a Go Go in the 60’s!  So let’s get this party started…here we go:


Gloria-Them-This is such a classic song…it is also from the movie the Outsiders in case anyone was wondering.  Makes me want to go grab some popcorn and get my Matt Dillon on! 

                                        http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EOEYXE18Mxo
 

The Byrds- Mr. Tambourine Man-What can I say? Oh yeah…this song and Turn Turn Turn are the SHIZZ right here! Makes me want to turn, turn, turn, in circles dancing to these tunes!
 

 
 

 

                                          http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uPqAvgN6Tyw
 


                                        http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W4ga_M5Zdn4


The Turtle’s-Happy Together-Hearing this song makes me think of the Partridge Family with a dreamy David Cassidy!


                                         http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zv85y08aA2w

The Doors-Break On Through (To the Other Side)-This song is just CLASSIC!  End of story…
 

                                          http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CbiPDSxFgd8


OK…so there you go blogosphere!  The top 5 songs that were played at the famous L.A. Sunset Strip Whiskey A Go Go!  Now all of you ladies out there go on out and get those vinyl white Go Go boots out of retirement and get your groove on!  I know that I am… 

 


What am I listening to as I pen this bloggary:  Piece of My Heart, by Janis Joplin

Sunday, June 9, 2013

Goodness Gracious Great Balls of Fire…Jerry Lee Lewis Would Be So Proud…NOT!


I have to tell ya fellow bloggers…there are many things in my life that I would rather not see or know about and what I saw/learned about today was one of those things that totally fits into that category…so here’s what happened.  I was on my long trek to take my daughter to pre-school (yes…even in the summer time the girl cannot catch a break here…apparently macaroni necklaces are also a summer school craft as well…who knew right? ) and as I am about ready to pass the high school this HUGE Ford truck pulls out in front of me.  As I was silently cussing them out (I have to act like some form of adult here so instead of cussing them out like a sailor I gave them the finger! HA!  I am such the poster child for proper parenting behavior here…yes I am available for briefings at parenting conferences if you all were wondering!  HA!)  for cutting me off and as I am shaking my head at the dual stove pipes that are bordering each door like some form of bubba lace (thinking that Martha Stewart would be soooo proud of their decorating skills here…clearly they watch the DIY decorating for Bubba’s channel! Those pipes are so charming….NOT!) but as I get closer to the vehicle I see something dangling off of the trailer hitch.  I can’t quite make out what it is, so of course I have to inch my car up so close that I can smell their camouflage paint job, and what I saw was downright WRONG…yes people out in the blogosphere this is what my old eyes saw swaying in the wind:



WTF are those you are all wondering?  Well why yes…they are a set of Bubba nuggets that are lovingly placed so that innocent people like me can wander upon them and adoring gaze at them gently rocking back and forth like they were being rocked to sleep by a sadistic bassinette from Skeeterville!  YIKES!  So I know that these nuts are sooooo wrong on sooooo many levels, but like anything that is wrong and nasty (not referencing porn here people…I am not that addicted to streaming video Sheesh! I have Skinemax for that crap!  HAHAHAHAHAH! Just Kidding! ) I had to go look them up on the Internet to see what they are all about and apparently there are stores upon stores that sell these truck balls in all different shapes and sizes….hmmmm…..thinking that they wanted to get a real take on the ol’ acorns here…you know the old saying about small feet right? I don’t think they meant to say small socks…just sayin’…any hoo…so if you have a small truck then you purchase a small pair in whatever color your little heart desires!  I also found out that if you are a bubbanista (bubba fashionista) you can also get patterns on your family jewels as witnessed below:

 

I personally do not think that “the boys” organically come in American Flag print…I have never seen this phenomenon have you?  Oh…BTW…don’t think that the American Flag should be used as nut covers…I’m just sayin’….

According to Wikipedia…truck nuts are such a great addition to our natural scenery…NOT!..to the point that various states are outlawing the display of such artistic creativity. The nerve right?  Apparently some politician was knocked out on his ass as he walked by one of these monsters swaying in the wind and took offense…sheesh…that dude needs to relax right?  Not really…I have to agree with this rule but the kicker of it all is that in 2007 some LADY in South Carolina was pulled over and cited for adorning Truck Nutz to her fabulous vehicle…oddly enough the trial is still pending!  Sheesh…apparently she is a Nutz fan and is not too embarrassed to show it!  She is probably the lady in this picture with a pair on her phone:
 

Hmmmm…I wonder how much she got paid to be the model for phone cajones…I am hoping that she got a pretty penny because this is EMBARRASSING and will haunt this chick even when she is in the rest home with this contraption attached to her wheelchair!  Sheesh! This whole nuts on trucks is just soooo very wrong on multiple levels…I wanted to explain the whole castration process to those dudes in their big ass truck of shame as I chased them down with a set of nut cutters A.K.A bolt cutters from hell!  Sheesh!  SO GROSS!

So people out in the blogosphere, if you have seen a pair of nutz on a truck please comment and share…I am about ready to go on a Navy Seals night op here and spray paint those babies BLUE and then leave a copy of 50 Shades of Grey underneath their monster truck windshield wipers!  Sheesh!  This is wrong on so many levels….

 

What am I listening to as I rant in this bloggary:  Ain’t It Funny, by JLO

 


Thursday, June 6, 2013

Fashion Flashback Friday-Mullet Stylin' Bubba's


Today’s post is about…why yes…the infamous 80’s mullet.  You know the hair style that is all business in the front but is really rockin’ a long fluffy party in the back?  Yeah…well I decided that I was going to dedicate this week to the most hideous male celebrity mullet’s that I could find on good ol’ Google, just for grins and giggles!  So here you go…my top 5 mullet wearin’ picks:


Billy Ray Cyrus-So I have to admit that I am NOT a Billy Ray Cyrus fan and this hairdo is totally giving me an Achy Breaky Heart Attack! I wonder what he was thinking about when this picture was taken...hmmm....I am thinking he was contemplating the next permed phase of his curly mullet locks!  YIKES!






Jean-Claude Van Damme- This pic is just downright scary in more ways than one!  Not only is he sporting a mullet from HELL but apparently rattlesnake is the new whitening secret…shhhhh…don’t let Crest know that they have some competition here…it could get ugly!  Oh…BTW…love the whole permed Jheri Curl thing that he is also sporting…so SEXY…ummm….yeah not so much!





Mel Gibson-Apparently his hair is also used as a lethal weapon in his movies…who needs a gun when you have all this fluffy teased hair stylishly framed around your face to scare the death out of the alleged perp?  I know that I am terrified…





George Clooney-OMG!  I don’t even know where to start with this pic!  He looks like a stoned version of a Cabbage Patch Kid...I hope that his adoption papers are signed…if not he might find himself thrown out to go hang out with the Garbage Pail Kids! 








Andre Agassi-There is a lot of hairy business going on here!  Between the full on face mullet and the actual mullet on his head I don’t even know what to say here…his personal stylist must have been on drugs…as evident from the tie died inspired sash wrapped around his blow dried head!  Sheesh!



Bonus Pick:  The Wrath of Khan-Who knew that the mullet was so popular that even space aliens were sporting the look?  Apparently Khan needed to channel his mullet wrath onto Capt. Kirk who apparently made fun of his hair style and paid severely by getting some weird cricket doing the jig in his ear.  Insiders on the set divulged that the mullet look did not accentuate Spock’s pointy ears so he opted to NOT sport this look.  Good choice Spock… as usual you are the brains of the group!

So there you go people in the blogospere!  My top 5 celebrity mullets for your viewing pleasure!  I have a great Father's Day gift idea...I think that we should all take the special men in our lives to an old school beauty shop and get them a mullet cut…this would be a fabulous gift not only for the dad’s in our lives, but also for the rest of us…so that we can laugh our asses off! 


What am I listening to as I pen this bloggary:  I Got Friends In Low Places, by Garth Brooks