The Rules of Life According to Bridget Jones…

OK people out in the blogosphere...I thought that I would share with all of you what I learned from watching Bridget Jones today!  This post is going to change the way that you look at life so pay attention…Bridget Jones is a highly intelligent independent woman that CLEARLY has her shit together! So here is what I learned…you can thank me later for the following words of wisdom!

Realizing that being alone and depressed on New Year’s is complete and total crap!  Now making totally achievable New Year’s resolutions while drinking vats of wine, singing at the top of your lungs to sad FM,  and jotting down your feelings, in regards to the dreaded being “eaten by wild dogs unless you find a man” is obviously the right way to fight the depressing being single on New Year’s Eve scenario!  According to Match.com (who are the experts in the dating field) they will tell you on their website that avoiding the following is the key to romantic success “…alcoholics, workaholics, commitment-phobics, peeping toms, megalomaniacs, emotionalfuckwits, or perverts…” and the Internet doesn’t lie right?

 

Obviously does not fear the Karaoke machine and has a firm grasp of her vocal abilities!  Celine Dion had better watch out…Bridget is next in line to take her place at Caesar’s Palace on the Vegas strip…girl’s got some mad vocal skills and she knows how to use them! Oh…BTW apparently she is available for Bar Mitzvah’s and other public speaking appearances as well…the girl is just that good!

 

 Apparently knows the right tactical ways to wear “Scary-stomach-holding-in panties” to achieve said moment of “in flagrante.”  OK…so what does that last sentence mean?  In order for Bridget to get her some Cleave she must wear SPANX to actually get to that point…brilliant thinking here!  The girl is a GENIUS!

Always, Always, Always, follows the RSVP attire instructions in party invites down to the last letter.  This is a must if you are going to follow what society calls “proper” decorum…I think that Bridget has this down to an exact science don’t you?

Last but not least she finally understands the meaning of self-worth and that just being yourself is really all it took to get herself a man!  You Go Girl…oh and those zebra striped panties probably didn’t hurt either!

 

So there you go blogosphere…the rules to life according to Bridget Jones!  If any of you think of any other quality traits that I have missed, please comment and share because I think that she is frankly too intelligent for words! The girl is truly a relationship Einstein...well except that whole sleeping with your boss thing...but besides that the girl is definitely in the Mensa club!

                                                        

 

What am I listening to as I rant in this bloggary:  It’s Raining Men, by Geri Halliwell