Friday, March 22, 2013

Third Eye Blind and I am not talking about the band!

OK bloggers...this blog is not for the faint of heart or for people that have any vanity issues what so EVER because this blog is about waking up to a perfectly good day with a ZIT the size of China smack dab in the middle of your forehead!  Why yes...that is what happened to me this morning and I just have to say...WHAT THE HELL?  There is nothing like walking into your bathroom, peering into your very large bathroom mirror with sleep deprived eyes, and find the biggest monstrosity EVER perched right between your oh so prominent forehead frowns A.K.A. ghastly forehead wrinkles!  Seriously?  I would think that the advantage of having wrinkles would be to hide a zit the size of Uranus!  Not that there was any good use for forehead wrinkles but COME ON they have to be good for something right?   Apparently NOT because this beauty was HUGE and it was here to stay!  The thing about zits is that even though you can try to cover them up with makeup, they still look like a zit...that is now just doused in cover up and foundation that makes it kind of look like a big fat nasty booger on your face...well in my case a big fat giant must have sneezed a fat loogie right on my forehead GROSS!  Again...WHAT THE HELL?!  It's times like these where I just want to put a big ol' Hello Kitty band aid across my forehead and claim that I knocked myself out on a chair in a drunken stupor and cracked my head open.  Nobody would question the cute kitty cat band aid on my forehead then...but NOOOOOO if you have a zit on your head there is no band aid to cover that crap up!  You have to wear it like a badge of courage and hope that you don't find people hypnotically staring at it like it is going to disappear if they stare it down long they are Clint Eastwood staring down a bandito in a spaghetti western! Queue the music and let loose the tumble weeds on that zits ass! Seriously?!   Yeah it would have to take like the SUN to stare that baby down and then maybe that thing would run away and find another person to I don't know...maybe an adolescent teenager perhaps and not their mother!!!!  UGH!!!  Now all I have to do is wait for it to explode like Mt. Vesuvius and then hope that it doesn't leave a huge ass brown spot on my forehead...well maybe then I could change it into a beauty spot?  But then again someone might think that it is a big ol' horse fly and knock me flat on my ass trying to kill it!  Yeah...I am better off just suffering with the booger like concealer all the while trying to sip on a whole cup of courage and self esteem!  That is a way better idea...not really...any way you spin it this totally BLOWS!  :(

What am I listening to while I whine in this bloggary:  I Knew You Were Trouble, by Taylor Swift.

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