Friday, March 15, 2013

The Hall Pass Experiment male bloggers beware this post is not in your favor..not at please "don't be hatin' " I am just the author here...but any way your carve it this is some funny ass crap so here you go!  Anyway, the other night my husband and I were eating dinner in the bar area of a Mexican restaurant in our neighborhood and it was fairly packed for a Thursday night (so lame that we are so old that Thursday night is our Friday night but whatever (sigh).)  Anyway we were about half way into our margarita's when 6 fairly young ( I would think in their 20's) ladies walked in and sat down at a table close to us.  My husband, being the man that he is, proceeded to try to hide his ogling of these young ladies but yet again, as with everything else he does, failed miserably to do so.  Don't get me wrong all of you in blogger land, these girls were dressed to kill and they were obviously on their way to clubbin' and this was just their warm up before the kill.  My husband was mesmerized by these girls so after about 15 minutes of obvious sly glances, and not hearing a single word that I was talking about (I could have told him that I had purchased a small country and he would have been like "Yeah...OK..whatever..." he was so distracted it was funny!), that I finally told him that he could have a Hall Pass.  He was like "what?" Yeah...I had finally earned his full attention and now he was totally focused on what I was saying (do I really need to resort to such tactics to get his attention?  Apparently! Sheesh! He's such a guy!) Any hoo...I proceeded to tell him that if he was so interested in those young ladies that I would give him a Hall Pass to go and try to "Hit That". now all of you in blogger land are probably like are you crazy?  So let me pass on a little secret for all of you...there was no chance in HELL that he was going to get a chance to even talk to them let alone get some "digits" for a booty call!  For all of you that have seen my husband you are like "Ah Ha...I see your logic here...for those of you who don't...well...let's just say that he is cute but not THAT cute OK?  I think that you all get the picture here...I was giving him a chance to go talk to them with the only rule being that I could sit back and watch the whole interaction because I really needed a good laugh and this was the best opportunity for a good ol' fashioned belly aching laugh fest.  I knew that if he took me up on my offer that this was going to be good!  So I proceeded give him a thumbs up and scooted back my chair to clear the path to "hottie land" and see what he would do...and do you all know  what he did?  He got up and proceeded to walk towards them  but then sauntered past them to go to the men's room?!  Totally funny!  I almost peed myself from laughing so hard!  Totally classic!  He comes back after awhile, and casually sits back down on his stool and proceed to sip his margarita like nothing has happened?!  HILARIOUS!  I was like "so no digits?"  He proceeded to tell me that up close they weren't really that hot so he decided against it!  HAHAHAHAHA!  I almost fell out of my chair from the hilarity of it all!  After I could breathe, he tells me that I could have a Hall Pass too if I wanted and he waves his hand around the bar like Vanna showing off all of the "man candy" that was apparently all around.  I was like is a little bit of a reality check for you buddy...I, unlike yourself, am a realist...I am not going to try to Cougar my way into some cub's pants...and oh BTW all of the guys our age are...let's just say...they are our age...OLD...yeah the pickin's are slim and bleak at best! So yeah... not going to waste my time because that "man candy" that he was telling me does not exist at our age so that Hall Pass that he was offering me...I just have to say that I'm gonna "pass" on the Hall Pass until I see a group of hot guys that don't look like they just hopped off the "old ass and out of shape train" yeah...if I wanted that I would just stick with what I've got...I can tell you that it would be less work that way and way less scarier!  Holy Crap that scene was bleak...even for me and for all of you that know me, that tells you really does!  :)

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