OK fellow bloggers so I know that you all have been wondering where I have been this week right? Well…not really but I really like to think that you all read my posts because I am just that entertaining and that you do the Risky Business dance in your kitchen when my blog post hits your Google+ feed. OK my reality is not even close to yours right …well crap…I guess I had better up my game then. So that is what I did…this week I have been on Twitter trying to annoy more people because again…sharing is caring and I CARE for you all A LOT! So what better way to show I care than to share my feelings in 140 letters or less? Why yes…I have been on Twitter…and it has been well…interesting to say the least. Let me tell you that when I wrote the following post last year: http://middleagemonologues.blogspot.com/2013/04/i-am-twitter-challengedi-feel-like-twee.html I was only planning on Twitter stalking because I was afraid of what to Tweet or how to Tweet without looking like a Tweetard…well let me tell you something…I am a Tweeter and I am Proud! Feel the need to go out on a T-shirt website and get a shirt created with that logo on it…along with that one that says “I’m with stupid” that always points to my husband! I hear they have a buy one get one free promo…but anyway let me get back on track here…I have no idea how to explain how hard it is to say what you need to say in 140 letters or less. I cannot lie…I have verbal diarrhea and having to constrain my verbal blurts to 140 letters is like putting me in a Twitter "I Love Me Jacket" and then tell me that I have to make my Tweet super short or you’re going to Twee-shank me! (Whispering here)…Twitterville…it’s so scary! Any hoo…so this week I have been Tweeting and I have to tell ya…it has been pretty fun! So I decided that I was going to periodically share with all of you my Craptastic Tweets and then let you know in MORE than 140 letters what I was thinking when I wrote the Tweet…again I do this because I CARE…and sharing is caring so here's a sampling of my Tweets for the week and what I really wanted to say IF I HAD MORE LETTERS Sheesh! :
You know that you have road rage when you start yelling at the five year olds at Tomorrowland Speedway to get off your ass
I live in a state where all of the drivers constantly ride your ass and then flip you off! I know that I have “Asian drivers syndrome” but I completely lost it when I was flipped off and yelled at in the parking at the church that just happens to be where I take my daughter to school; which prompted the below Tweet
I got flipped off in a church parking lot…I shouldn’t do anything right?*sounds of grabbing tire iron inserted here*
Seriously…at times I have some road rage issues and when this chick flipped me off at a Church…I just kind of lost my mind. Did I come at her all gangsta’ with a tire iron? No…but I seriously wanted to…Sheesh…how rude right?
Him: I still have my man card see?
Pulls out my daughters Build a Bear card with hearts and flowers on it
Him: Well F!*K….My husband seriously is DIY challenged and after he hit himself in the face with a hammer trying to hang our Christmas Wreath…well...it prompted me to Tweet about his man card. The dude is great with computers, but once you put a power tool in his hand he wins a Darwin award EVERY SINGLE TIME! Sheesh…he is so blond…yikes!
Any hoo…if you want to see all of my Twitter flops and Twetardedness just follow me @MiddleageM on Twitter…I promise you my Tweets are so inspiring…well...they will inspire you to NOT be like me…Sheesh…I am embarrassed for myself!
What am I listening to as I pen this verbal atrocity?
Big Girls Don’t Cry, By the Four Seasons