OK fellow bloggers so I know that you all have been
wondering where I have been this week right?
Well…not really but I really like to think that you all read my posts
because I am just that entertaining and that you do the Risky Business dance in
your kitchen when my blog post hits your Google+ feed. OK my reality is not even close to yours
right …well crap…I guess I had better up my game then. So that is what I did…this week I have been
on Twitter trying to annoy more people because again…sharing is caring and I
CARE for you all A LOT! So what better
way to show I care than to share my feelings in 140 letters or less? Why yes…I have been on Twitter…and it has
been well…interesting to say the least.
Let me tell you that when I wrote the following post last year: http://middleagemonologues.blogspot.com/2013/04/i-am-twitter-challengedi-feel-like-twee.html
I was only planning on Twitter stalking because I was afraid of what to Tweet
or how to Tweet without looking like a Tweetard…well let me tell you something…I
am a Tweeter and I am Proud! Feel the
need to go out on a T-shirt website and get a shirt created with that logo on
it…along with that one that says “I’m with stupid” that always points to my
husband! I hear they have a buy one get one free promo…but anyway let me get back on track here…I
have no idea how to explain how hard it is to say what you need to say in 140
letters or less. I cannot lie…I have
verbal diarrhea and having to constrain my verbal blurts to 140 letters is like
putting me in a Twitter "I Love Me Jacket" and then tell me that I have to make
my Tweet super short or you’re going to Twee-shank me! (Whispering
here)…Twitterville…it’s so scary! Any
hoo…so this week I have been Tweeting and I have to tell ya…it has been pretty
fun! So I decided that I was going to periodically
share with all of you my Craptastic Tweets and then let you know in MORE than
140 letters what I was thinking when I wrote the Tweet…again I do this because
I CARE…and sharing is caring so here's a sampling of my Tweets for
the week and what I really wanted to say IF I HAD MORE LETTERS Sheesh! :
You know that you
have road rage when you start yelling at the five year olds at Tomorrowland
Speedway to get off your ass
I live
in a state where all of the drivers constantly ride your ass and then flip you
off! I know that I have “Asian drivers
syndrome” but I completely lost it when I was flipped off and yelled at in the
parking at the church that just happens to be where I take my daughter to
school; which prompted the below Tweet
I got flipped off in a church parking lot…I shouldn’t do anything
right?
*sounds of grabbing tire iron inserted here*
Seriously…at
times I have some road rage issues and when this chick flipped me off at a
Church…I just kind of lost my mind. Did
I come at her all gangsta’ with a tire iron?
No…but I seriously wanted to…Sheesh…how rude right?
Him: I still have my man card
see?
Pulls out my daughters Build a Bear card with hearts and flowers on it
Friends: BUAHAHAHAHAHAA
Him: Well F!*K….
My husband
seriously is DIY challenged and after he hit himself in the face with a hammer
trying to hang our Christmas Wreath…well...it prompted me to Tweet about his man
card. The dude is great with computers,
but once you put a power tool in his hand he wins a Darwin award EVERY SINGLE TIME! Sheesh…he is so blond…yikes!
Any hoo…if you want to see all of
my Twitter flops and Twetardedness just follow me @MiddleageM on Twitter…I promise you my
Tweets are so inspiring…well...they will inspire you to NOT be like me…Sheesh…I
am embarrassed for myself!
What am I listening to as I pen
this verbal atrocity?
Big Girls Don’t Cry, By the Four
Seasons
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