Grumpy Cat Is A Genius!

 

OK people out in the blogosphere I was wandering around Facebook the other day and came across one of my friends posts that inspired me to write this little short diatribe about…of all things…the great and fabulous Grumpy Cat.  So here’s what inspired me to write this fabulous post...the other day I logged into good ol’ trusty Facebook to read about all of the riveting and thought provoking posts from my friends and family (not really…it is just a bunch of overloaded crap but I am drawn in to it like a fly is drawn to a big ol’ cowpie…yes…I just said cowpie! Ha!) and I came across one that was pretty funny about Grumpy Cat.  This is going to sound really sad, but I really didn’t know who or what this thought provoking cat was, but when I realized that he was hosting a contest, I felt compelled to find out what all of the hype was about…it’s not every day that a grumpy ol’ cat gives away anything except dropping a big ol’ present in his kitty litter box or even better…gifting you with a properly formed hair ball…yeah…the hair balls are the BEST EVER…NOT!  So gross… anyhoo…so I wandered over to the crazy cat’s Facebook page https://www.facebook.com/TheOfficialGrumpyCat   and realized that this cat is like… super famous! What.The.Hell?  I must have been living under a rock, because I didn’t realize that this "frownie faced cat" was so popular that it has a butt load of followers…WTF?  How in the hell does a cat that basically tells you to F* OFF have that many followers?  As I sat there and pondered this thought I realized…GRUMPY CAT IS A GENIUS!  I often talk about how I need to invent something because I seriously do NOT want to have to work anymore…so why couldn’t I think of making bank by putting insults on pictures of a grouchy ol’ cat that is licking its ass?  Made me want to start posting my  witty thought provoking insults as Bitchy Middleage Mommy and see if I get as many followers that adore me because they think that I am just that charming...without the whole licking your ass part...HAHAHAHAHAHAAA! Hmmm…throwing around insults while you look like the Crypt Keeper is probably NOT going to get me that many followers…thinking that I should have thought that whole “Botox or Not to Botox” debacle through so that I could get some more followers like that fabulous cat…oh wait…I would have to be cute and cuddly while I insult your ass…yeah not happening…I have the ass part down and people it’s pretty big and so NOT cute!  HAHHAHAHAAA!  I have to admit that whoever the owner is of this cat has to be making a fortune off of its grumpy butt…hmmmm….wondering if that kitty cat gets pampered from all of the profits that his grumpiness makes for his owners?  Does he get kitty massages and sushi every night?  I know that if I had that many followers I totally would be exploiting that shit…I would be expecting celebrity perks and demanding that I be a guest host on Ellen…thinking that I might have to try to finagle an interview during Christmas so that I can get some swank swag out of the whole thing right? AND how in the hell did Grumpy Cat land a hug from the hot brother from Vampire Diaries as witnessed below:

 

Seriously?  The only action that I get is an uncomfortable tongue gesture from a very disgusting trash guy and this cat is hugging hotties?  WTF?  I seriously need to rethink my priorities here…Sheesh!  So you all are probably wondering what is the point of all of this no nonsense verbal diarrhea right?  Well…the point is that I need to invent something like a pet rock app and make millions so that I don’t have to be jealous of a grouchy faced cat that is making that owner one happy LOADED camper!  Whoever created Grumpy cat is a genius…oh and BTW…the pet rock app does exist…I looked it up…you can download it for .99 at the app store!  Sheesh…see I can’t even create an imaginary app…I am doomed to work until I am 80…where is a grouchy cat when you need one right?!  Sigh…*sounds of slurping Tequila through an industrial size straw inserted here*…

 

What am I listening to as I pen this bloggary:  What’s New Pussycat, by Tom Jones