Goodness Gracious Great Balls of Fire…Jerry Lee Lewis Would Be So Proud…NOT!

I have to tell ya fellow bloggers…there are many things in my life that I would rather not see or know about and what I saw/learned about today was one of those things that totally fits into that category…so here’s what happened.  I was on my long trek to take my daughter to pre-school (yes…even in the summer time the girl cannot catch a break here…apparently macaroni necklaces are also a summer school craft as well…who knew right? ) and as I am about ready to pass the high school this HUGE Ford truck pulls out in front of me.  As I was silently cussing them out (I have to act like some form of adult here so instead of cussing them out like a sailor I gave them the finger! HA!  I am such the poster child for proper parenting behavior here…yes I am available for briefings at parenting conferences if you all were wondering!  HA!)  for cutting me off and as I am shaking my head at the dual stove pipes that are bordering each door like some form of bubba lace (thinking that Martha Stewart would be soooo proud of their decorating skills here…clearly they watch the DIY decorating for Bubba’s channel! Those pipes are so charming….NOT!) but as I get closer to the vehicle I see something dangling off of the trailer hitch.  I can’t quite make out what it is, so of course I have to inch my car up so close that I can smell their camouflage paint job, and what I saw was downright WRONG…yes people out in the blogosphere this is what my old eyes saw swaying in the wind:

WTF are those you are all wondering?  Well why yes…they are a set of Bubba nuggets that are lovingly placed so that innocent people like me can wander upon them and adoring gaze at them gently rocking back and forth like they were being rocked to sleep by a sadistic bassinette from Skeeterville!  YIKES!  So I know that these nuts are sooooo wrong on sooooo many levels, but like anything that is wrong and nasty (not referencing porn here people…I am not that addicted to streaming video Sheesh! I have Skinemax for that crap!  HAHAHAHAHAH! Just Kidding! ) I had to go look them up on the Internet to see what they are all about and apparently there are stores upon stores that sell these truck balls in all different shapes and sizes….hmmmm…..thinking that they wanted to get a real take on the ol’ acorns here…you know the old saying about small feet right? I don’t think they meant to say small socks…just sayin’…any hoo…so if you have a small truck then you purchase a small pair in whatever color your little heart desires!  I also found out that if you are a bubbanista (bubba fashionista) you can also get patterns on your family jewels as witnessed below:

 

I personally do not think that “the boys” organically come in American Flag print…I have never seen this phenomenon have you?  Oh…BTW…don’t think that the American Flag should be used as nut covers…I’m just sayin’….

According to Wikipedia…truck nuts are such a great addition to our natural scenery…NOT!..to the point that various states are outlawing the display of such artistic creativity. The nerve right?  Apparently some politician was knocked out on his ass as he walked by one of these monsters swaying in the wind and took offense…sheesh…that dude needs to relax right?  Not really…I have to agree with this rule but the kicker of it all is that in 2007 some LADY in South Carolina was pulled over and cited for adorning Truck Nutz to her fabulous vehicle…oddly enough the trial is still pending!  Sheesh…apparently she is a Nutz fan and is not too embarrassed to show it!  She is probably the lady in this picture with a pair on her phone:

 

Hmmmm…I wonder how much she got paid to be the model for phone cajones…I am hoping that she got a pretty penny because this is EMBARRASSING and will haunt this chick even when she is in the rest home with this contraption attached to her wheelchair!  Sheesh! This whole nuts on trucks is just soooo very wrong on multiple levels…I wanted to explain the whole castration process to those dudes in their big ass truck of shame as I chased them down with a set of nut cutters A.K.A bolt cutters from hell!  Sheesh!  SO GROSS!

So people out in the blogosphere, if you have seen a pair of nutz on a truck please comment and share…I am about ready to go on a Navy Seals night op here and spray paint those babies BLUE and then leave a copy of 50 Shades of Grey underneath their monster truck windshield wipers!  Sheesh!  This is wrong on so many levels….

 

What am I listening to as I rant in this bloggary:  Ain’t It Funny, by JLO



 



Fashion Flashback Friday-Mullet Stylin' Bubba's

Today’s post is about…why yes…the infamous 80’s mullet.  You know the hair style that is all business in the front but is really rockin’ a long fluffy party in the back?  Yeah…well I decided that I was going to dedicate this week to the most hideous male celebrity mullet’s that I could find on good ol’ Google, just for grins and giggles!  So here you go…my top 5 mullet wearin’ picks:

Billy Ray Cyrus-So I have to admit that I am NOT a Billy Ray Cyrus fan and this hairdo is totally giving me an Achy Breaky Heart Attack! I wonder what he was thinking about when this picture was taken...hmmm....I am thinking he was contemplating the next permed phase of his curly mullet locks!  YIKES!



Jean-Claude Van Damme- This pic is just downright scary in more ways than one!  Not only is he sporting a mullet from HELL but apparently rattlesnake is the new whitening secret…shhhhh…don’t let Crest know that they have some competition here…it could get ugly!  Oh…BTW…love the whole permed Jheri Curl thing that he is also sporting…so SEXY…ummm….yeah not so much!





Mel Gibson-Apparently his hair is also used as a lethal weapon in his movies…who needs a gun when you have all this fluffy teased hair stylishly framed around your face to scare the death out of the alleged perp?  I know that I am terrified…



George Clooney-OMG!  I don’t even know where to start with this pic!  He looks like a stoned version of a Cabbage Patch Kid...I hope that his adoption papers are signed…if not he might find himself thrown out to go hang out with the Garbage Pail Kids! 





Andre Agassi-There is a lot of hairy business going on here!  Between the full on face mullet and the actual mullet on his head I don’t even know what to say here…his personal stylist must have been on drugs…as evident from the tie died inspired sash wrapped around his blow dried head!  Sheesh!



Bonus Pick:  The Wrath of Khan-Who knew that the mullet was so popular that even space aliens were sporting the look?  Apparently Khan needed to channel his mullet wrath onto Capt. Kirk who apparently made fun of his hair style and paid severely by getting some weird cricket doing the jig in his ear.  Insiders on the set divulged that the mullet look did not accentuate Spock’s pointy ears so he opted to NOT sport this look.  Good choice Spock… as usual you are the brains of the group!

So there you go people in the blogospere!  My top 5 celebrity mullets for your viewing pleasure!  I have a great Father's Day gift idea...I think that we should all take the special men in our lives to an old school beauty shop and get them a mullet cut…this would be a fabulous gift not only for the dad’s in our lives, but also for the rest of us…so that we can laugh our asses off! 

What am I listening to as I pen this bloggary:  I Got Friends In Low Places, by Garth Brooks





Twisted Mix Tape Tuesday Blog-Just Chillin' In The 60's

Twisted Mix Tape Tuesday Blog-The 60's

 

 

 

This week on Twisted Mix Tape Tuesday the theme is a mix tape for a friend IN the 60’s based on any theme…so I, being the huge movie freak that I am, thought that I would do a little time travel and  base this blog on the movie the Big Chill with a little bit of National Lampoon’s Animal House thrown in just for some Toga wearin’ fun!   I know...I TOTALLY broke the rules here but what can I say...this blog hop is so HARD to play by the rules!  Thanks again Jen Kehl @ http://jenkehl.com for inviting all of us music freaks to this magnificent music inspired Blog Hop!  OK…so here we go:

I Heard It Through the Grapevine-Marvin Gaye-This is the opening song for the movie and of course the California Raisin Song!  Makes me want to groove either way!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jPnZZTVp_2A

 

Ain’t Too Proud To Beg-The Temptations-This song makes me want to also swing my hips around my kitchen while I am cleaning up after a huge meal…I am no Glen Close but I can get my “dance on”  with the best of them! 

                                            http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=86GA4JnW7x4

You Can’t Always Get What You Want-The Rolling Stones-How appropriate is this song for this scene?  You be the judge…SPOILER ALERT…I don’t think that this is legal do you?

                                         http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o1q4mgXrYo4

 

 You Make Me Feel Like a Natural Woman-Aretha Franklin-This song is of course from the love scene between Harold and Meg…this song just makes me want to SING the chorus line at the top of my lungs for all to hear! Aretha is the real deal…

                                       http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dEWuAcMWDLY

Twistin’ The Night Away-Sam Cooke-This is an Animal House classic and of course since I love Sam Cooke this HAD to make this list!

                                        http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lCxN_o8r_Mg

 

So I HAD a ton more to put on this list BUT I thought that I would just stick to the top 5 and mention that you can listen to ALL of the great songs from the Big Chill at the following link: 

http://grooveshark.com/#!/artist/Soundtrack+The+Big+Chill/1598488

So now everyone just has to go watch the Big Chill and then swing on over and give Dean Wormer some crap over at the Animal House if you are feeling up to it…this is quite the mixture of 60’s musical magic fellow bloggers!  Happy Listening!

 

What am I listening to as I pen this bloggary:  Sittin’ On The Dock of the Bay, by Otis Redding

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Rules of Life According to Bridget Jones…

OK people out in the blogosphere...I thought that I would share with all of you what I learned from watching Bridget Jones today!  This post is going to change the way that you look at life so pay attention…Bridget Jones is a highly intelligent independent woman that CLEARLY has her shit together! So here is what I learned…you can thank me later for the following words of wisdom!

Realizing that being alone and depressed on New Year’s is complete and total crap!  Now making totally achievable New Year’s resolutions while drinking vats of wine, singing at the top of your lungs to sad FM,  and jotting down your feelings, in regards to the dreaded being “eaten by wild dogs unless you find a man” is obviously the right way to fight the depressing being single on New Year’s Eve scenario!  According to Match.com (who are the experts in the dating field) they will tell you on their website that avoiding the following is the key to romantic success “…alcoholics, workaholics, commitment-phobics, peeping toms, megalomaniacs, emotionalfuckwits, or perverts…” and the Internet doesn’t lie right?

 

Obviously does not fear the Karaoke machine and has a firm grasp of her vocal abilities!  Celine Dion had better watch out…Bridget is next in line to take her place at Caesar’s Palace on the Vegas strip…girl’s got some mad vocal skills and she knows how to use them! Oh…BTW apparently she is available for Bar Mitzvah’s and other public speaking appearances as well…the girl is just that good!

 

 Apparently knows the right tactical ways to wear “Scary-stomach-holding-in panties” to achieve said moment of “in flagrante.”  OK…so what does that last sentence mean?  In order for Bridget to get her some Cleave she must wear SPANX to actually get to that point…brilliant thinking here!  The girl is a GENIUS!

Always, Always, Always, follows the RSVP attire instructions in party invites down to the last letter.  This is a must if you are going to follow what society calls “proper” decorum…I think that Bridget has this down to an exact science don’t you?

Last but not least she finally understands the meaning of self-worth and that just being yourself is really all it took to get herself a man!  You Go Girl…oh and those zebra striped panties probably didn’t hurt either!

 

So there you go blogosphere…the rules to life according to Bridget Jones!  If any of you think of any other quality traits that I have missed, please comment and share because I think that she is frankly too intelligent for words! The girl is truly a relationship Einstein...well except that whole sleeping with your boss thing...but besides that the girl is definitely in the Mensa club!

                                                        

 

What am I listening to as I rant in this bloggary:  It’s Raining Men, by Geri Halliwell

 

Fashion FlashBack Friday-Tiger Beat Heart Throbs of the 80's

OK people out in the blogosphere…my original intent of this post was to get on Google and find the most hideous 80’s outfit (besides the one that my mother was wearing over the holidays…that was one scary MOTHER!  HA!) and post it so that we could all reminisce on how great our fashion sense was back in the day…yeah…not really right?   Well, for me I would have been admitting that the mullet wearing dude with braces was not really a dude but sadly…I would have to divulge that it was actually me having a very BAD hair day…but again the intent would have been the same…to laugh at how ridiculous our style really was and to just have a little bit of fun in the process.  Sounds like a good plan huh?  Well….ummm…as I was surfing for my killer outfit, that I wore on the first day of my freshman year of high school, I came across a butt load of 80’s teen idols that I thought I would share with you instead…so here you go…the top 5 male 80’s hotties…again…you all in the blogosphere can thank me later for this highly intelligent, thought provoking post!

 

1.  Leif Garret-I had NO idea that a guy could get a “feather on” better than Farah Fawcett but apparently Leif is the feather KING…with perhaps a slight perm going on as witnessed below.  I was also wondering if his digital watch was a calculator as well…hmmm…maybe I should have been asking him to borrow it for all of my Calculus classes in college…thinking that his high tech time piece might have helped me actually pass those classes from HELL! 

 

2.Rob Lowe-OK…so I have to admit that I was kind of in love with Rob Lowe…but then that thing with the Transvestite happened and sadly enough for Rob my love kind of dwindled.  I know he still regrets the love lost but hey…what’s a girl to do?  Cheating with a dude is still cheating…I’m just sayin’…

3. Kevin Bacon-Who did not like Footloose right?  I’m talking about the old school Footloose where Kevin gets his groove on and we all get to happily watch!  Kevin Bacon…sooo dreamy!  I am also diggin’ the high waisted pants….and OK…so I am just going to go there… does that zipper look extremely long to you too? 

 

 

 

 

4.       David Lee Roth-Soooo…this pic actually makes him look like a kinda hot dude…the others not soooo much!  I now understand where Aerosmith got their muse for Dude Looks Like A Lady…clearly David was drinking with them one night and voila’ song inspired!

 

5.  Tom Cruise-I am sorry but I have to admit even with the TomKat fiasco, Tom Cruise is still a good looking dude but what can I say…I am a sucker for a guy in uniform and well…ummm…he looks really GOOD in his Top Gun uniform...YUMMMMM!!!!!!

 

 

 

BONUS PICK:    The Hof-So this one was just too hilarious to NOT post…I want to ask him how he got his hands on my grandmother’s robe and panties but I am too afraid of what he might say!  HAHAHAHAHAAAA!  This pic is just too FUNNY…totally LOVING the banana hammock here and his cheesy smile!  CLASSIC!

 

 



So my fellow bloggers…I hope that I have given you enough man candy to at least last you through the weekend!  If not you can always get on trusty Google and search for The Hof and download that video of him eating a hamburger while being drunk out of his mind…now that’s a whole lotta hot bun action going on right there!  HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!

 

 

What am I listening to as I pen this bloggary:  Pour Some Sugar on Me, by Def Leppard

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Twisted Mix Tape Tuesday Blog

OK people out in the blogosphere…being the total music lover that I am (yes I am old enough to say that I remember when MTV used to play music videos instead of the riveting tales of life on the Jersey Shore… sheesh who knew watching people tan could be so entertaining?!)… I HAD to participate in this week’s Twisted Mix Tape Tuesday!  Thank you Jen Kehl @ http://jenkehl.com/music/twisted-mixtape-tuesday-9/ for creating this Blog Hop for sadistic music freaks like myself! 

OK so back to the mission at hand…here are my top 5 songs that I LOVE to belt out in my car…yes with all of the window’s down…Megaphone proudly hanging from my face with of course an annoyed audience of fellow commuters so HAPPY to hear my out of tune version of the following: 

1.       Oh Sherry-Steve Perry-Yes…I am a Journey/Steve Perry freak!  Who doesn’t love a video that has a Prince and a Princess in it?  Disney apparently was Steve Perry’s muse here….hmmm wondering if the girl in the video is an Aquanet’d version of Cinderella?  You be the judge…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=te1CVVlaJzA

2.       Dancing Queen-ABBA-OK…so I am also an ABBA loving dork!  Every time I hear this song I want to put on a pair of white boots with a gold fish in the heel and get my groove on! Watching this video also makes me want to get some SERIOUS bangs….and curl them under!  NICE!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xFrGuyw1V8s

3.        I Want To Know What Love Is-Foreigner-This is just one Bad @$$ ballad…I have NO idea how many dogs joined in with me when I belted out this tune…kind of sounded like the hyena’s on The Lion King but I really don’t care…this song is the SHIZZ!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=raNGeq3_DtM

4.       Heartbreaker-Pat Benatar-I ALWAYS, ALWAYS, ALWAYS, put this song on when I need to get my confidence on and kick some @$$ at work!  This is where I say BRING IT…OK maybe not sooo much like Mike Tyson but maybe more along the lines of Hong Kong Phooey…but the intent is still the same! 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vppgaVcnfS0

5.       Billy Jean-Michael Jackson-What can I say…this song is just CLASSIC!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zi_XLOBDo_Y

 

 

Soooo…this is the list!  If you hear some crazy lady belting out tunes in her car with her daughter in the back seat wearing noise cancelling headphones on her poor little head…ah yeah…that would sadly be me!  Happy listening!

 

Oh BTW…in case you all in the blogosphere were wondering…I do listen to other songs that are in our decade…I am NOT THAT OLD!  Sheesh! I know who Britney is B*!  HA!  J  

 

 

What am I listening to as I pen this bloggary:  RESPECT, by Aretha Franklin.

 

 

Shorty Short Shorts and All Things Cheeky…

OK people out in the blogosphere…today’s rant is about feeling the need to explain the rules behind the latest fashion trend of  Shorty Shorts…in that I really do not need to know that MUCH information about your Hoo Hoo A.K.A. your Va Jay Jay!!  Holy Crap!  Someone needs to explain this to people and oddly enough that person is obviously going to be me because if I see one more shorty short violation,  I am  going to admit myself into the “I Love Me Jacket Hotel” and request that I be roomies with LiLo!  GAH!  Hmmm….maybe this is not such a good idea…rooming with LiLo might make me into an even crazier whack job than I already am…BUT just think of all of the pharmaceutical drug advice that she could give me?  I could write a book on that shit and make millions!  OK…I have decided that’s plan B here on my “What Am I Going to Do When I Grow Up” list…thinking that this idea might be another KEEPER! HA!  OK…digression over…getting us back on track here…so over Mother’s Day weekend we took our daughter to San Diego to go to LegoLand and then to Sea World for a much needed break from reality. Sounds like a good plan right?  Weelllllll….once we got there….not so much!  Once my old eyes adjusted to the horrifying scene that they were forced to witness, as in I seriously doubt that any of these people looked in the mirror before they traipsed on down, to a family oriented theme park, obviously dressed like a very poorly paid street walker!  Holy Shit!  Felt the need to ask these people (I am lumping the men in this poorly paid prostitute category as well here…this shit was THAT scary!) what they were thinking when they sauntered into a theme park with shorts so short that even the pole dancers were asking them where they got them from because they were, in their honest professional opinion, total game changers!  Seriously?! Who does this?  I also felt the need to contact the People of Walmart website and tell them that they are missing out on a business opportunity for expansion here as these theme parks had some serious butt crack and muffin winners!  Hmmmm….this could be tricky because I don’t know what their policy is in regards to random pics of nasty Hoo Hoo’s vs. their butt crack norm…thinking that for some of these folks there isn’t a black out bar BIG enough to cover that much business going on down south of THAT border!  Again…who does this?  And don’t get me started on how much of their ass was hanging out when they turned around!  YIKES! OK people…when you wear shorts so short that I can see the Beavis tattoo that is comfortably hanging out in your ass cleavage, clearly that is a sign to COVER that crap up!  Sheesh!  Did I mention that this “phenomenon” was not age discriminate?  OH NO…again life could not give me a break here!  Why yes…it appears that older folks felt the need to stay current with the fashion trend here and don these shorty shorts from butt crack hell!  Thinking that these people still remember that Nair commercial when they were in their teens and still BELIEVE that if they douse themselves in that foul smelling crap that why yes…they too can sport a pair of shorty shorts and kick their way to hairless toned happiness!  Ummm…thinking that I need to burst their delusional bubble here and tell them TO LAY OFF THE CRACK PIPE!   There is not enough NAIR on this planet to help that situation out and don’t get me started on how much freakin’ cellulite cream would be needed to cover so much square footage!  YIKES!  Oh…and I can’t forget to give you all this last great visual of said person in these exhibition shorts, that has been sitting through a Shamu show, that is now sporting WET shorty shorts that resemble a nasty, soggy thong, and when they peel themselves off of the bench, that they have been sitting on for the last half an hour, they proceed to go butt diving to try to dig the yards of fabric out of their ASS!  GAH!  SOOOOOOO WRONG!  I can safely tell all of you out in the blogosphere that I have been traumatized by this whole shorty short fashion phenom and it clearly needs to have some guidelines associated with the trend…as in…if you do not look like Rachel Bilson, YOU SHOULD NOT WEAR them!  End of story people!  Sheesh…again W.T.F?   If any of you out in the blogosphere have ever been shorty, shorted, please comment and let me know…I am surfing on Craigslist for a therapist that makes house calls because my old ass eyes have given me the finger and are out on vacation, which makes driving to the loony bin clearly a challenge!  Sheesh…so wrong on so many levels…sigh…*sounds of throwing back Tequila shots inserted here*

What am I listening to as I rant in this bloggary:  Baby Got Back, by SIR-MIX-A-LOT.

Happy Mother’s Day…You Sound Fat?! WHAT?!

Hello fellow bloggers…today’s rant is about calling my mother to wish her a Happy Mother’s Day only to hear in return that I sound tired, which means in “mom speak” you have been eating your feelings…you sound FAT!?  Seriously?!  What does that mean really?  Well…let me explain it to all of you in the blogosphere…you all are SOOOO lucky to be getting this rant today….let me tell you!  HA!  OK…so I am just going to get to the root cause of my mother’s perceived “assholery”…she literally has NO filter when she speaks!  She will give you the truth…the hard way…right between the eyes, and not even bat an eyelash when you look at her like you want to STAB HER IN THE FACE!  Sheesh!  So when…let’s just say…you are in your teens…in the 80’s…and you come out of the dressing room dressed like some sadistic version of Madonna that is bathed in  black spandex lace, and you ask her the “dreaded” question of “…does this outfit make me look fat?”…not only is she going to tell you “why yes…you make Dumbo look like a Weight Watcher’s poster child” but she will proceed to pinch, poke, and prod every roll on your spandexed body in the process, just to drive that “you are fat” stake all the way HOME!  GAH! So annoying!  And you all in the blogosphere were wondering what my obsession is with spandex…well now you know!  Took me years of therapy just to say spandex…so to say that I am ranting about it is like a therapy miracle…feel the need to call Dr. Quackadoodle and let him know the great progress that I am making!  Maybe he has a Twitter icon on his website that I can click to follow him and then NOT KNOW WHAT TO DO!  BTW…Twitter update…still a Twee-tard!  That crap is STILL confusing…thinking that BLARTING is my only course of action here...I suck so bad at that bird crap app that when I even attempt to login to their site I get a pop-up checkbox asking me if I KNOW what I am doing?! HAHAHA! Soooooo digressing here because my mother scares the crap out of me but I guess I had better get back on track here…so any hoo my mother knows that when I was younger, I was a pretty stressed out kid, you know stereotypical Korean book nerd kid that HAD to take all of those AP classes, and when mid-terms or finals came around I would like stay up all night drinking Jolt Cola and eating an ass load of Dorito’s…if you were to see my ass back then, you would understand the magnitude of the term “assload”! Sheesh…so depressing!  I had…what my mother “lovingly” told me one day…a truck butt…you know…a butt so flat and wide that it resembles the front end of those old school semi-trucks?!  Yeah…my mother has such a way with words…she really should have been a poet…NOT!  Thinking that Haiku dude, Masaoka Shiki, has some fierce competition here…her Haiku would resemble something like this: 

                The Truth Clearly Hurts

                You Should Not Have Worn Those Pants

                You Have A Fat Ass!

Thinking that I should submit that Haiku to Hallmark for the greeting in some poor fools Inspiration card…hmmm….on second thought that card might be a law suit just waiting to happen!  Sheesh! I wasn’t lying people in the blogosphere…that woman has mastered the English language to a fault and knows every mean adjective and verb that the lovely Webster dictionary clearly taught her HOW TO USE AGAINST ME and the planet at large! Holy Crap!  So wrong! Oh and don’t make the mistake of thinking that her “no filter verbal vomit” is focused solely on family members…OH NO…you all in the blogosphere are not protected here…not protected at all!  Being the typical Korean mother,  she is all polite smiles, head nods of approval, all the while shoving some nasty sweet bean rice cake thingy down your throat,  and then when you least expect it she strikes like a King Cobra!  Like say...when she politely tells the person, that is sitting in her living room eating those nasty Korean version of tea cakes, that her new perm makes her look like some scary poodle she saw running down the middle of the street, that was clearly running from its big scary ass permed shadow! So mean!  Now…to be fair…she “verbally Punks” this person in her adorable broken English so the victim only assumes that she is NOT using the right combination of adjectives and verbs here…so they both have a chuckle over the “cute” incident and drink tea to more “Good Times!”  OMG!  Really? How clueless are these people?  My mother should have one of those caption bubbles over her head, in these incidents, to let us know what’s really going on in that evil no filter head of hers… I am thinking that it would say something like this: “I totally have a grasp of the English language you a-hole…I just think that your hair makes you look a sadistic version of a Garbage Pail Kid!”   Again…SO MEAN!  So when she tells me that I “sound tired” I am on full alert, like I am one of those red shirted fools on Star Trek that’s getting ready to bite the big one!  I can’t lie…I have all of these clever come backs in my head that I could have said to her but of course what did I do?  Yeah…I said none of them…I…like the chicken shit that I am…when it comes to my mother…changed the subject and just wished her a Happy Mother’s Day instead of telling her to F* OFF!!  WAH! Smart BUT SOOOOO LAME!  Sheesh…that woman scares the crap out of me!  YIKES! So if anybody out in the blogosphere has a “no filter” family member please comment and share…I am fearing the call that I have to make for her birthday…I have NO idea how I am going to survive that one without being totally DRUNK OUT OF MY MIND!  Holy Crap!  She’s SO SCARY!!

What am I listening to as I rant in this bloggary:  Ain’t That A Kick In The Head, by Dean Martin.

Liebster Award Blog!

I would like to Thank Lorna K @ www.lifewithraisapain.com, Kim M @ www.exquisitelyunremarkable.com/   and Julia @ www.savingmummy.com.au  for nominating me for this award! I am sorry that it took so long for me to accept it...I REALLY do appreciate the nomination!   So here you go Lorna, Kim, Julia, and the rest of the blogosphere! Happy Liebster reading!

Answers to Lorna K:

1.      Why did I create this blog?  Hmmm…well I needed a way to vent about all of the stupid crap that goes on in my life and what better way than to have a bloggary on the Web! J

2.      On average how much time a week do you spend blogging or doing blog related activities?  I probably spend about 5 hours a week blogging…I am new to all of this so I am kind of a dork when it comes to blogging and what I need to do to get my posts read…hence my post about how I am a Twitter challenged!

3.      What is your favorite season and why?  Well, my favorite season is Winter because I am a shameless shoe whore and I love to wear all types of boots!

4.      What do you like the most about yourself?  I think that what I really like about myself is that I really try to take everything with a grain of salt and not try to be too serious about life and all of the craziness that can consume you if you let it. 

5.      Who is the most important person in my life?  Hmmmm…well you all are going to laugh because I rant about him so often, but that would be my clueless, time challenged, husband who is in a first place tie with of course my four year old daughter and our dog Buster!

6.      What type of music do I listen to most? Well…I listen to pretty much everything…which is obvious because all of my posts have very random artists that I listen to…from country to R&R, classical, to Sam Cooke (who is really my favorite artist if truth be told!).

7.      What is your most prized possession? I think that it would be my wedding ring and my digital photos on my computer.

8.      What is the one thing that gets on your nerves? People who are always Debbie Downers and feel like they need to bring me down with them!  L

9.      What do you love most about your followers?  That they think that I am funny because my husband seriously DOES NOT!  HA!  J

10.  Have you become close friends with your followers?  I have just acquired some followers and I hope that I become great friends with all of them.

11.  If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?  I am such a perfectionist control freak that sometimes, I get too “wrapped around the axle” and just need to understand that it is OK to have things that are not quite perfect…even though it will drive me crazy, sometimes I just need to let it go. 

 

Answers to Kim M:

1. What is the main focus of your blog? Ranting about things in life that are annoying and oh yeah…my scatter brained husband!
2. What is your favorite candy? I LOVE Jelly Bellies!!!!
3. Fiction or Non-fiction? Fiction
4. What is your favorite season? Why? I love Winter because of all of the great coats, sweaters, and boots that I get to wear!  I am a serious shoe whore!  J
5. Are you an animal momma? We have a boxer named Buster…he is really my other half’s pooch but he knows who feeds him…the dog is smarter than his owner!  HAHAHAHAHAAA!
6. Do you like to cook? If so, what is your favorite dish to prepare?  I do like to cook BUT I really like to cook Thanksgiving and Christmas dinner with all if the fixings…and of course PIE!  I love to bake PIES!!!!!!
7. What is your favorite movie? 16 candles! 
8. What did you find most surprising about blogging? That people actually read my ranting crap about nothing and actually think that it is entertaining! 
9. What sport/ activity did you do in school? Ummm…well…I have a Korean mother…sooooo…I was kind of a forced book nerd…so I would have to say that I played basketball and I was and still am HORRIBLE at it! 
10 What was your most frivolous purchase? Hmmm…I bought a COACH bag…at FULL price…need I say more? L
11. What is the one thing you will not leave the house without? My daughter and my cell phone! 

 

Answers to Julia:

1. Why did you start blogging?  I really enjoy writing and ranting about my husband is just a benefit of the whole writing process…you all in the blogosphere get to reap the rewards of my husband’s lack of brain cells!  J
2.  If you could eat lunch anywhere in the world, where and what would you eat?
I would totally eat lunch in Beijing, China…I would gorge myself on authentic Chinese food! 
3. Whom, what, where does your blogging inspiration come from?
My blogging inspiration comes from all of the things that swirl around in my head all day and of course my bottle blond husband gives me A LOT of material to work with!
4. How do you handle a stressful day?
I really do not stress the little stuff…as long as I remember to put pants on every day and make sure that my daughter has her pants on as well before she gets to school…all is well!
5. What do you hope that your children remember about you?
That I loved her unconditionally and that I spent a lot of quality time with her….
6.What is your favourite recipe?
Oddly enough it is the Philadelphia Cheesecake recipe that is on the back of the box!  I know…I know…no creativity here!  J
7. What is your favourite quote?
It’s the little things that count….
8. What projects are you working on right now?
- My blog and I am finishing up a YA novel that I have re-written a gazillion times but have been TOO chicken to send to any agents or publishers!  J
9. What is the best thing about you?
I am pretty easy going and I think that life is full of hilarious things that just make me laugh!
10.Will you follow the bloggers that you nominate?
Absolutely!
11.What makes you giggle?
Life in general is pretty funny…I like to people watch…it gives me a lot of material to rant about in my blog! 

 

 

 

 Nominees

1.      www.gladiator-in-heels.blogspot.com Gladiator In Heels

2.      www.ceverythingbeauty.com Everything Beauty

3.      www.wornbabyshoes.com Worn Baby Shoes

4.      Lifehappenssosmile.blogspot.com  Life Happens So Smile

5.      www.thebloghangout.com The Blog Hangout

6.      www.lilyrosebee.com Lily Rose Bee

7.      Motherchuckler.weebly.com  Mother Chuckler

Questions for Award:

1.      Why did you start your blog?

2.      What is your favorite thing to do?

3.      What is your fondest memory?

4.      What is your favorite movie?

5.      Who is your favorite actor/actress and why?

6.      What is a book that you would recommend to other bloggers?

7.      Where is one of the best places that you would like to go?

8.      What is your biggest fault and why?

9.      What is your favorite song and why?

10.  What is your favorite holiday and why?

11.  What is something that you do that you know is annoying but you really don’t care that it is annoying?

Instructions for Award:

1.      Each blogger should answer the questions from the person who nominated you

2.      Choose 5-10 new bloggers with 300 followers or less to pass the award to and link them to your post

3.      Go back to their page and tell them about their award

4.      Don’t send the nomination back to the person who sent it to you